So, I’ve been seeing one particular ad incessantly lately. It’s a fairly generic-looking ad, with the words “Jesus Christ is Lord” in bold letters across the top. Scroll down a little further, and there’s a very heavily tanned woman, under a thick layer of makeup wearing a skimpy halter top. She’s probably in her early 20s. It’s an ad for a certain Christian-themed dating web site I won’t mention by name.

It seems to be targeted advertising. Fine, my religion is no great secret. Most public databases that I’ve queried about myself identify me as a Protestant, and some even peg me as Lutheran too. But there’s this one other little detail that’s even easier to find out than what religion I practice.

I happen to be married.

So why am I seeing targeted ads for a dating site? And why am I seeing targeted ads from a dating site catering to those who practice a religion that tells its practitioners not to commit adultery?

The model in the ad also raises some questions. Granted, I’ve been a member of two exceptionally vain Lutheran churches, but still. Sitting out in the sun (or under a tanning bed) that long seems to be a bit much. Kind of like the sign I saw once, years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth and we shot photographs on film. I no longer have the picture because the film got ruined. But–Scout’s honor!–the sign read:

TRY OUR NEW RAPID TAN SYSTEM

PRAISE THE LORD

I’ll freely admit there are some things I pay no attention to. So maybe there’s some Christian sect out there that totes around tanning beds, unbeknownst to me. And maybe that model happens to be a member of it. I suppose I’ve heard of stranger things, though a dating site using actual photos of its members in its ads would be exceptionally strange.

If there is, it’s just more proof that they’re chasing the wrong guy with that ad.