Coming soon: My best line ever

I just came up with the most sensational lead-in of my entire adult life. But I can’t use it yet because it has someone else’s name in it and I really ought to clear it with him first.
There’s no shortage of other things to talk about. I’d really love to use that line because it’s so politically incorrect… But I need something to make you come back tomorrow anyway. Meanwhile I’ll talk about something else. Politically incorrect, of course.

P.C. police in Holland. I see from Charlie’s site (I’d link, but his calendar seems to be acting goofy) that political correctness is running rampant in Holland. Some people who couldn’t be bothered to, like, do research and stuff decided that kosher animal slaughter sounded painful, so they lobbied the government to ban it. Well, that’s my optimistic estimation of the situation. The pessimistic estimation of the situation is pure anti-Semitism.

Of course, anyone who ever bothered to learn anything at all about Jewish law and custom (hint: Blow the dust off that Bible and turn to the books in the front of it) knows that Jewish law and tradition values animal life. Think about it for a minute. Jews believe that God created everything. Jews believe that God values everything. Therefore God values animals. Jewish law has specific restitution for when you harm an animal.

But that requires too much thought, and it busts stereotypes some people want to keep. (RELIGIOUS FANATICS VALUE ANIMAL LIFE! AAAAAGH!) And I’m sure that opinion is going to hack off a lot of people. To which I’ll say I’ll listen to you when you have an informed opinion. Reading the books of Leviticus and Deuteronomy is a good start. They’re not that long.

And I’m thinking I need to start eating kosher meat. The Apostle Paul said I don’t have to, but he wasn’t surrounded by politically correct morons.

NOW’s Father’s Day present. It appears that NOW is celebrating Father’s Day with a protest. How nice. Fortunately, there’ll also be a counter-protest.

I think I ought to celebrate the memory of my very politically incorrect Dad (what’d that bum ever do? He just kept a roof over my head and clothes on my back and food on our table and made me go to school. And he took me to a few baseball games.) in a very politically incorrect way. Flowers on the church altar on a Sunday in close proximity to his birthday sounds good… Especially seeing as my church is one of those ultra-right-wing churches that calls God “Father” and doesn’t question whether Jesus Christ was male or female.

The NOW zealots can go worship their goddess and feel unfulfilled and blame their lack of fulfillment on their local neighborhood male. I’ll leave fulfilled and at peace and looking forward to the day when Dad and I can go out in a field somewhere and play catch.

Then I’ll come home and eat something kosher. And not just a pickle.

One thought on “Coming soon: My best line ever

  • June 7, 2002 at 8:30 am
    Permalink

    Calendar acting goofy? Seems to be working as far as I can tell. The link you want is this one. But you might also want to note the followup, which seems to indicate that it’s not as bad as we thought. (Even if the calendar is goofy, the little “#” links should work. But I do have mod_rewrite redirecting those to real links – maybe that’s what you meant? Some RSS aggregators won’t validate links with ? in them, which is why I did that.

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