If you're the only person left in the United States without a DVD player, you might want some tips on how to buy them.

I know, I know, since this year was the year of the DVD player, this information would have been a lot more helpful a couple of months ago. I don't always think of things as quickly as I should.

Believe it or not, your best bet for a DVD player is very likely the cheapest one on the shelf at your local store, the one that's a brand you've never heard of and made in China.

The main reason most people want a cheap DVD player and don't know it is old TVs. I've got a Magnavox console TV that looks like it should be sitting in a shag-carpeted living room with an Atari 2600 connected to it. DVD players have S-Video and composite outputs. The only words of that sentence my ancient TV understands are "have" and "and".

There are two ways you can put composite inputs on an old TV like mine. You can connect an RF modulator to it--that's an accessory you can buy at Radio Shack for $30 or most consumer electronics stores for $25 that plugs into your TV's antenna jack and gives you composite and possibly S-Video inputs.

The second way to put composite inputs on an old TV is to connect a VCR to it. Chances are you already have a VCR. Every VCR I've ever seen has composite inputs, which are intended to allow you to chain two VCRs to a TV.

But most brand-name DVD players have copy protection circuitry that detects the presence of a VCR and degrades the picture to an unacceptable level. This is because Hollywood is convinced the only reason someone would connect a DVD player and a VCR in tandem is to make copies of DVDs. And since the lack of composite inputs on old TVs presents an opportunity to sell more stuff, and most big-name makers of DVD players also make stuff like TVs, they're more than happy to comply.

The brands you've never heard of, however, really don't give a rip. They care about making stuff cheap. And, well, extra circuitry means extra cost. So that's one reason to leave it out. And China is notorious for thumbing its nose at Western copyright law anyway. (I find it really frightening that totalitarian China is more interested in my rights as a consumer than the supposed Republic of the United States, but that's another topic.)

Connecting a VCR to a TV through its antenna doesn't noticeably affect picture quality, because VHS' picture quality is lower than that of broadcast TV. Connecting a DVD player through the antenna--whether through a VCR or an aftermarket RF modulator--does reduce picture quality. But the picture will still look better than VHS-quality.

Every time I've looked, I've been able to find no-name DVD players for $60-$65. Name-brand ones cost closer to $100. So a cheapie could potentially save you $70, if it saves you from having to buy an RF modulator.

But even if your TV has composite and/or S-Video inputs, you probably still want the ability to chain your DVD player through your VCR. Because chances are you still want to keep your VCR around for recording TV shows (don't tell Hollywood) and watching all your old tapes that you don't re-buy on DVD.

An awful lot of TVs that have those inputs have two sets of inputs, one on the front and one in the back. If you ever connect your camcorder to your TV, you want to save your front-mounted inputs for that, to save fumbling around. If you have a videogame console that you're in the habit of disconnecting and reconnecting, you want your front inputs for that.

Having the ability to chain your new DVD player to your old VCR gives you more options in setting things up. Options are good.

If you just got a DVD player and you're having problems with it, you might just want to exchange it for a no-name model.

Finally, if you're into foreign films and want to import DVDs to get movies you can't get in the United States yet (if ever), you're much more likely to be able to disable region codes on a no-name cheapie than you are on a big name brand.

What about reliability? Yes, a $60 no-name model is probably more likely to break than a $100 brand-name one. How much more likely? It's hard to say. Is it worth the risk? Absolutely. In all likelihood, by the time your cheapie breaks, you'll be able to buy a replacement cheapie for 40 bucks. Or, since many cheapies use a plain old IDE DVD-ROM drive like your PC, and that drive is the only mechanical part in a DVD player, you stand an awfully good chance of being able to fix the thing yourself. It's pretty easy to find an IDE DVD drive for $50 or less right now. Within 18 months, I expect them to be selling for $20. If not sooner.

Finally, a tip: If your TV has S-Video inputs, use them. Using S-Video instead of the more conventional composite gives you a sharper picture and better color accuracy. With VHS, this doesn't make a lot of difference because the format is really low-quality to begin with, and tapes wear out and reduce it even more. There are a lot of things that can go wrong before the signal even starts to travel down that set of cables.

Since DVD has much higher resolution and doesn't wear out, you'll notice the difference.