On Tuesday, 768 MB of Crucial DIMMs arrived, earmarked for an old Mac G3. I know, Mac OS can't make intelligent use of 64 megs, let alone 768 megs, but Photoshop and Illustrator can--especially when used together. Just allocate 256 MB to each of them and get it over with.

Nice thought, except the DIMMs were too tall. When I put them in, the case wouldn't close.

I tracked down the problem. Older Mac desktops have a grill over the fan that protrudes out about 1/8 inch, and that, combined with the layout of the G3 motherboard, prevents what's now a standard-sized DIMM from clearing. I figured the grill was aluminum, so I went and got some wire snips and figured I'd just go snip snip, remove the grill and leave the fan unprotected, and let the Mac have its full 768 megs of allowable memory. Well, it turned out to be steel, so my little wire snips barely even scratched the grill. Just then one of the building maintenance guys walked by. I told him what I needed to do, so he went and got a humongous pair of tin snips. What he did next was more of a snap snap than a snip snip, but it got the grill gone, regardless. After that, the case closed properly, and the Mac booted up and recognized its full 768 megs without any sparks flying.

You have computers... You have really big manly tools. Why not put them together?