Month: March 2005

In case you’re still having a case of the Mondays

Dave Farquhar Humor/Satire

Last Updated on February 19, 2026 by Dave Farquhar

If your five bosses are bothering you about putting the wrong cover sheet on your TPS reports again and you got the memo but you can’t find the sheets, you can download one.

And if you haven’t seen Mike Judge’s modern classic Office Space, you really need to.If you don’t yet own a copy, that’s curable. And I would be remiss if I didn’t post a link to the red Swingline stapler.

Informercial, out. Now go print out a copy of that TPS report cover sheet to hang on your cell, er, cubicle wall. Or leave it laying on the desk of a fellow inmate who needs a laugh.

Are computer repair people all amateurs like this BBC reporter says?

Dave Farquhar General

Last Updated on July 23, 2017 by Dave Farquhar

I saw this link on Slashdot to a BBC story that calls all computer technician types “unqualified amateurs.”

I think I resent that.I think I happen to be pretty good. Understand, I got that way by being very bad for a very long time. But I will admit I’ve met a lot of IT people, and very few have impressed me. Most are better at sounding like they know what they’re talking about than they are at actually accomplishing anything. I once worked with someone who had the longest resume I’ve ever seen. He claimed to be a budding Windows NT Server administrator with experience in every application you can think of. I got suspicious when he didn’t know how to use a mouse properly. I got severely torqued off when I wrote a whiteboard full of detailed instructions on how to Ghost a PC, left for an hour, and came back to find he had completed three of them, and two of those incorrectly.

But that’s not everyone.

I’m seldom impressed with in-store technicians too. But I can tell you why. The big-box stores have difficulty keeping their good technicians. Headhunters are constantly scouring those stores in search of talent, and it’s only a matter of time before anyone who’s good leaves for greener pastures–namely, a job with fixed or semi-fixed hours and benefits.

So, no, I don’t let my friends take their computers to those places.

I’ve thought about doing what the BBC author did: Posting a notice somewhere offering computer help to home users. I’ve done a bit of it on the side in years past. But there’s a problem. Generally, too many people call, and too often.

Sometimes people seem to think they’re entitled to free computer help for life because they paid you $40 once. Other times they just keep calling you. My biggest problem with it as a part-time gig is that it’s too easy to get buried in it. I work too many hours as it is to come home to three more hours of part-time work every night.

As a full-time gig it would be more tempting, but the problem there is self employment. Thanks to self employment, the government is likely to take half of your earnings, so in order to make what you make in someone else’s employ, you really need to double the number.

That’s my deterrent. There are too many broken computers out there to do this part time, but are there enough broken computers nearby that I could fix 8 of them in a day, and do that about 260 times a year, so that I could make enough money to make it worth my while?

So that’s why I don’t operate a computer repair business out of my home. If someone bribes me enough, I’ll fix theirs, but I can think of better outlets for my entrepreneurial ability.

Just don’t call me an unqualified amateur.

If you’re concerned you might be talking to a hack in a store, here are some questions you can ask to gauge knowledge.

Basic Windows printer troubleshooting

Dave Farquhar Hardware

Last Updated on July 31, 2016 by Dave Farquhar

I “fixed” a printer this weekend. It took me about a minute. That’s because I know Windows printer troubleshooting.

Chances are I can teach you how to fix printers in minutes too–assuming the problem is more software than hardware, like it was in this case.

The first step should always be to turn the printer off. Many printer problems are caused by a job being hung in memory, and cycling the power clears that.

Next, before you turn the printer back on, clear the print queue. Go to Control Panel and into printers, double-click on the printer being affected, then click on Printer, and select Cancel all Documents. Or if you’re in a real hurry, you can do it from a command line, which is always faster.

Now turn the printer back on and try printing something. In extreme cases you may have to turn the printer back off, reboot, and turn the printer back on.

Chances are, after doing this, the printer will print fine. Try printing whatever it was that hung you up again. Failing that, try printing something else. If that works, the problem is whatever you’re trying to print.

At this point, look for an updated driver. Or try making a subtle change to whatever you’re trying to print. By subtle change, adding a space somewhere may be enough. Even to the end of a line, where it won’t be visible. Adding a space and then immediately taking it back out may be enough too, for that matter.

Vindicated?

Dave Farquhar Windows , ,

This article on Windows installation at Firing Squad preaches all the same things I was preaching nearly six years ago in my Windows 9x book.

Where to find the stuff has almost all changed, and msot of the old utilities don’t work anymore, but these are exactly the same concepts I yammered on and on about. Funny, I’ve been told system optimization is a waste of time…Incidentally, this is the second article on optimization that I’ve seen in less than a month. The other one read an awful lot like a Windows XP translation of an article I published in Computer Shopper UK back in 2000, which in turn was a shortened version of one of the chapters in the same book.

So I guess people don’t just throw their 2-gigahertz computers away and buy new ones when they start to seem slow?

It really makes me wonder what would have happened if, after the book received a gushing review in Canada and was perpetually sold out in stores up north, if those 3,000 copies of the book that languished in a warehouse in Tennessee had made their way into those stores.

That’s OK. That was five years ago, nothing can change it, and I really don’t have any desire to be a computer author anymore. I find the only way to really know a lot about computers is to work with them for 40-60 hours a week in a production environment. Labs don’t cut it–you can never underestimate the effect of 1,000+ users hammering on what you built. Never. And if you spend those hours working, that doesn’t leave enough time to write books and release them in a timely fashion.

So rather than write mediocre computer books or send myself to an early grave by working full time in addition to writing for 30-45 hours a week, I’d rather have a life, make a decent living, and not write computer books.

Moral Dilemma

Dave Farquhar net.culture ,

I saw the following in one of my Backup Exec failure logs (directory names changed slightly to protect the client’s name, and me):

Directory F:\ITWEB\Flash Stuff\Welcome Page Animations was not found, or could not be accessed.
None of the files or subdirectories contained within will be backed up.

Hmm. Flash animations.I’m torn. My duty to the client who is paying me, of course, is to fix the problem so the file is backed up.

But they’re blinky, annoying Flash animations. Flash, of course, is the third worst thing to ever happen to the Internet, behind popups and spam. OK, it’s the fourth worst thing. I’ll put it behind spam. But I’ll even put it ahead of Microsoft Internet Exploiter.

So an opportunity to snuff out some blinky Flash animations that have been foisted on the world is a great temptation.

Or am I the only one who feels this way about Flash?

Incidentally, I turn off animated GIFs too–I find a Web without animated GIFs and Flash is a much more pleasant place. I don’t know if that makes me boring and extremist or what.

Wikipedia hits half a million entries

Dave Farquhar Copyright

Last Updated on October 8, 2010 by Dave Farquhar

Wikipedia made it. Half a million articles. 1.25 gigabytes of raw text.

That’s a lot. I remember when I first read about CD-ROMs, one of the best examples they included to talk about its 600-megabyte capacity–which was unthinkable in the days when 40-gig hard drives were mainstream–was that it was enough to hold a whole encyclopedia with room to spare.

Not this encyclopedia, I guess.It used to bother me that sports figures and entertainers were more likely to have entries than important historical figures. Seeing as my last few entries have been about baseball players–and bench players at that–I guess I’ve mellowed. Academic-style articles will happen eventually. I think Wikipedia’s value is as the people’s encyclopedia, rather than academia’s encyclopedia.

The history that almost nobody will care about in 20 years is being recorded, and I think that’s cool. What bothers me more today is that the history is much richer from 2001 on than pre-2001 will be.

But it’s reached a point where it’s not bad on academic matters either. I remember my first research paper well. It was a horrid assignment. I, along with each of my 8th grade classmates, was given the name of an obscure third-world country. We had to write a minimum 10-page report on the history and politics of the country.

My assigned country was the Central African Republic. I struggled to find any sources that were five pages long. The school library had absolutely nothing. The State Department had some free information. The public library scored me some information too, including what became the backbone of the report–the exploits of dictator and self-styled Napoleon wannabe Jean-Bedel Bokassa.

I note that Wikipedia’s entries on the Central African Republic’s history, politics, and Bokassa are all reasonably long and detailed and very good.

No resource like Wikipedia existed in 1989. I still maintain that assignment was totally inappropriate for an 8th grader–I never had to do anything like it in high school, and while I did some papers that were comparable in length and difficulty when I was in college, I also had twice as long to complete them.

But if any of those teachers are still around and torturing 8th graders today, Wikipedia will make those poor students’ lives much easier.

And did I mention that anyone can freely copy it for their own use, whether personal or commercial? Yeah, that’s pretty cool too.

A compelling toy train layout with animations done on the cheap

Dave Farquhar Toy trains , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Layouts featuring Lionel, American Flyer, and other O or S gauge trains don’t have to be expensive. Joe Rampola has lots of ideas for creating a good-looking layout with lots of animation (aside from the trains) using mostly inexpensive items. His site has lots of pictures and video clips.

His work has been featured in both Classic Toy Trains and O Gauge Railroading magazines.Among his better ideas: Lay a loop of HO gauge track, then put 0-4-0 mechanisms from cheap HO scale locomotives in the frames of 1:43 scale die-cast cars and make streets for the layout. This is a similar approach to K-Line’s new Superstreets, but Rampola did it years earlier, and his approach is a lot less expensive for those who can live without instant gratification. His approach also allows you to use any vehicle you want, so long as you’re willing to modify it.

He also has plans and instructions posted for lots of inexpensive animations he did using the cheap unpainted (and unfortunately, discontinued) K-Line figures from the classic Marx molds of the 1950s. Sometimes you can still get lucky and find a box of unpainted K-Line figures hiding on hobby shop shelves.

He even has his animations controlled by an old Timex Sinclair 1000 computer. He gives enough detail that I suspect someone good with homebrew circuits could adapt his circuit and his program to another computer, such as an Apple or Commodore. Even a 3.5K unexpanded VIC-20 ought to be up to the task, let alone a behemoth Commodore 64.

I’ve always bristled at the thought of adding electronics to my traditional layout, because my trains are my escape from computers. But using a real computer–real men only need 8 bits–to control parts of a layout does have some appeal to me.

Cheap ground foam for trains

Dave Farquhar Toy trains

Last Updated on April 15, 2017 by Dave Farquhar

Ground foam is a commonly used scenery material. You can use it to simulate grass and other ground foliage, and people often use it to make trees as well.

But there are two problems with it. What are the odds of you running out when working late at night when all of the hobby shops are closed? Too high. And it’s expensive. But I found two explanations how to make your own.You can see them here and here.

I’ve seen a similar method used where someone used cheap kitchen sponges from dollar stores. The source of foam doesn’t seem to matter. The materials you need are pretty much all the same: an old blender from a yard sale or thrift store, about a quarter cup of water, a bottle or two of cheap green acrylic craft paint and another bottle of a darker color to tint it, and some foam to grind up.

Cheap model railroading supplies can be hard to find sometimes. It’s nice to see one.

Super glue tips and tricks

Dave Farquhar DIY , ,
Super glue tips and tricks

Last Updated on August 8, 2017 by Dave Farquhar

If you want some secret super glue tips and tricks, I have you covered.

I just read a great tip about how to store Cyanoacrylate for long periods of time without it drying out on you. Cyanoacrylate (often abbreviated CA or CyA), sold under the Krazy Glue, Super Glue, Superglue, and a number of other brand names, is cured by the moisture in the air. Moisture in the air also causes a tube or bottle to dry out quickly after you open it.

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How to make a national sales tax work–fairly

Dave Farquhar Society

So the idea of a national sales tax to replace the income tax comes up again, and this time it gets some consideration, or at least some air time.

The usual people are howling about it: Sales taxes are regressive, and regressive taxes are unfair.

Here’s a fair way to fix that.If you haven’t guessed, I’m in favor of this. The yearly paperwork is a major pain, and getting it right is even harder. Without professional help, I never can. How many hundreds of thousands of hours are wasted preparing taxes, just so we can have a tax system that seems fair?

And it’s not really fair. It’s impossible to close all of the loopholes, and those who have reason to find the loopholes also have sufficient money to find and take advantage of them.

I like the sales tax idea because it’s based on the money we spend. Want to pay less in taxes? Save more money. So it encourages saving, which is something we desperately need to do. It’s also next to impossible to evade, since two people are going to get in trouble for it, and it’s not worth a merchant’s while not to pay it, so the merchant will collect it.

So, let’s hit the regression problem.

Sales tax is regressive because both rich and poor alike have to buy food. And since rich and poor alike pay the same price for the same loaf of bread at the same store, the sales tax takes a larger percentage of a poor person’s income. That extra dime hurts the person who makes $250 a month a lot more than it hurts the person who makes $250 an hour.

So why do we tax food in the first place? That eliminates the problem. That way the guy who makes $250 a month and can’t afford to buy anything but groceries can still live, and he pays no taxes. The guy who makes $250 an hour pays no taxes on his food, but he does pay taxes on luxury items, which, in theory at least, he will be buying in much larger quantities than someone with a sub-subsistence income.

One could even choose not to tax subsistence-type foods like bread, eggs and milk, but tax luxury foods such as chocolate. Alcohol absolutely should be taxed. Defining luxury foods could be a dicey affair, but could it possibly be more complicated than the current tax code?

Other necessities like personal hygiene products, medicine, and clothing could be handled much the same way. Perhaps some sort of a baseline price could be established on clothes, so that a generic $10 pair of blue jeans isn’t taxed, but a $90 pair of designer jeans is.

And I have a question: How much money does the government spend every year enforcing the current tax code? This change does away with the processing centers, the need to print lots of forms, the auditors, the help lines, and the expenses that go with them. Or is the creation and maintenance of all of these cushy jobs a prime motivating factor behind the current tax code?

While this solution doesn’t solve all of the problems or potential problems with such an extensive overhaul, I do hope it helps prevent the idea from being dismissed just on the basis of it being regressive. It doesn’t have to be. And I hope it encourages those in favor of such a code to make it fair.